I’m not here today — I’m nowhere as I seek a new meaning for life.  I sound like a 60’s outcast/hippy as I talk about searching for the meaning of life, however, it couldn’t be more true.

I moved from the city to the country to be a caregiver.  I left the hustle and bustle of busy streets, Starbucks, meeting my friends at night for a movie or dinner and some sense of normalcy.  I now live in the country by the beach — I can search for the meaning of life every day as I mourn the loss of my dad.  My grief counselor said it could take up to a year….grief has no permanent definition.  

My friends are now on social websites — how crazy is that?  I have no real identity…just that of a lost soul crying out for help.  I’m now caring for my mom — it is scary….I feel so alone.  I’m blessed to have parents who lived long lives…..I was just never prepared to feel so empty.

I write notes for my gratitude jar — reminding me how lucky I am and giving me my reason for living.  My past life gave me a world of news, government and media at a very high level.  I’m glad I had that life when I was young.  Now, I can just concentrate on being there for others.  I just want someone to tell me it will be o.k.  Bruce? 

About sweetmelissa1954

Love family, life, Starbucks and change! Transition is the new norm....learning to go with the flow and embrace each day...I love politics, news and Bruce Springsteen! I write about life, Hawaii, coffee, sibling rivalry, politics, friends, care giving and just another day!
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