I’m not here today — I’m nowhere as I seek a new meaning for life. I sound like a 60’s outcast/hippy as I talk about searching for the meaning of life, however, it couldn’t be more true.
I moved from the city to the country to be a caregiver. I left the hustle and bustle of busy streets, Starbucks, meeting my friends at night for a movie or dinner and some sense of normalcy. I now live in the country by the beach — I can search for the meaning of life every day as I mourn the loss of my dad. My grief counselor said it could take up to a year….grief has no permanent definition.
My friends are now on social websites — how crazy is that? I have no real identity…just that of a lost soul crying out for help. I’m now caring for my mom — it is scary….I feel so alone. I’m blessed to have parents who lived long lives…..I was just never prepared to feel so empty.
I write notes for my gratitude jar — reminding me how lucky I am and giving me my reason for living. My past life gave me a world of news, government and media at a very high level. I’m glad I had that life when I was young. Now, I can just concentrate on being there for others. I just want someone to tell me it will be o.k. Bruce?